Texas Style Shave

I recently went to a place down here in Brownwood to get a haircut. After the gal finished cutting my hair she asked me if I wanted her to clean up my neckline because there was a lot of hair growing down the back of my neck. Wanting to look groomed and professional I said, "Sure, go ahead."

So, she reaches over to this little machine on her counter and all of this foamy lather comes out of it. She proceeds to place this on the back of my neck, which I thought was a little odd, but hey, it felt good. This must be some new-fangled way to soften up the hair on the back of my neck before hitting it with the clippers. She wiped off her hands and reached over towards her clippers, but instead of grabbing the clippers, she picks up an-honest-to-goodness 6 inch "John Wayne" STRAIGHT RAZOR! SHOCK! AWE! HORROR!

SHE'S GONNA KILL ME!

The male ego is a fragile thing. Not wanting to be seen as a wimp, I meekly commented, "Nice razor." She proceeded to deftly shave the back of my neck. It actually kinda felt pretty good and didn't hurt at all or pull my hair like a clipper often does. When she finished, she asked, "Do you want me to get your face too?" Since she hadn't killed me yet, I said, "Sure, go ahead." It's the closest shave I've ever had.

When she finished, she wiped off my face, reached over to her counter and grabbed the largest bottle of after-shave I've ever seen in my life. She poured about a cup of the stuff into her hands and slapped it all over my neck and face. ZING! BURN! NAPALM! She looked at me and said, "Does that burn?"

"No. Not too much." My reply came out about 3 octaves higher than normal.

I smelled like old-man after-shave for several days after this experience. Once I got over the initial fear (and mind-numbing after-shave pain), I decided that it really was about the best shave I've ever had and one that I'll certainly remember for a long time.